I ordered a whole new world
at Mickey’s Drive-Thru
“Yes, I am Black and Proud. I”m Black and I’m Beautiful.” Dr. Martin Luther King
In the spirit of playing cards because I love “Spades,” many folks refer to the “race card,” which assume they are “calling a spade a spade” or “telling it like it is.” But, little do they know that “calling a spade a spade” is a racial slur which dates back to a time of the Aristophanes in 120 AD.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
White fLashes
white light
white words
white bone
white sperm
white dress
white egg
white pills
white kills
black girls
black boys
white dolls
white teacher
white father
white Christ
white Bible
black sheep
white lamb
white rope
white negro
black plague
white lies
white noise
white powder
black Friday
white walls
white school
white homes
white picket fences
black families
white doors
white flight
white clouds
white sheets
white cops
black man
white t-shirt
white power
white stripes
white feet
white eyes
white face
white teeth
white folks
white vote
white robes
blackface
white hair
black cat
white flag
black smoke
white flight
black car
white light
black coffin
white peace
Fact: 88% of all Veterans dropout their first year of college
Fact: 33.1% of all Black males graduate college
Fact: 1 in 4 Black men will spend time in jail
The smell of rotting desert permeates through dusk while I step onto the property of PWI (Primary White Institution) of Higher Education Inc. An eerie feeling questions my existence and follows me like local law enforcement in their vehicle. The palm trees wave “goodbye” and the cacti spines grow sharper when I pass by. The wind whistles the Civil War Confederate song, “Dixie Land,” harmonizing with a sense of not belonging.
I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!
There’s buckwheat cakes and Injun batter,
Makes you fat or a little fatter
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land
Usually, I declare my conscious level as THREATCON BRAVO meaning the conditions demand increased awareness with a more predictable threat of terrorist activity. However, on this particular day an incident when a white woman clutches her purse while a white man and I walk behind her causes me to reevaluate the threatcon level. With the white man behind me in double-time I lightly walk a wide watermelon smile around her, avoiding eye contact as she squeezes the life from her purse. Quickly, I pass and the purse is able to catch its breath when she lets go. I look back noticing that I am now the Blackface of the three-person Centipede. After this awkward exchange the threat level is increased to THREATCON CHARLIE. The intelligence I receive indicates some form of terrorist action against me is imminent. I look at my skin and realize most often people don’t see me, but the uniform symbol of DTEC (Domestic Terrorist).
As society has become more “colorblind,” and even more race conscious, I am left skeptical of the nature of my existence. No matter how transparent society is I am always the enemy. My voice vibrates with an internalized Blackness that is difficult to ignore. White folks mistake my passion for the Angry Black Man. The truth is the quiver in my voice is from fear that I may make the wrong comment and like the FBI COINTELPRO did with Dr. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Huey P. Newton, Fred Hampton, Assata Shakur, and Angela Davis in the 1960’s and 1970’s be placed on the PWI”s “Negro Agitator” List. The Black experience on a PWI is complex. Social media in recent years has revealed the ways in which black men are perceived as being perpetual enemies of the state which place me in a one or all of three categories; angry, prison, coffin. WWB (Walking While Black) is a cause for alarm for everyone who is not to “Stand Their Ground,” and any other magical legal derivative like Freedom of Speech depending on race, gender, or sexual preference one is either criminalized or victimized. However the mission is to protect those who believe WWB is a threat to their safety.
While WWB on a PWI, I constantly second-guess my steps that rob me of my identity and force me to invest into the whiteness that represents power, wealth, and education. I remember when I told my father that I wished that I was “White” shortly after I lost my innocence hearing a little White boy with blonde hair and blue eyes call me, “Nigger.” Unfortunately I still have the feeling of swallowing my lips with those burning words when my dad gave me a quick pop to my mouth and said, “Don’t let me ever hear you say that again. You are Black and will always be Black.” Immediately, I was caught between a cry and a loss of breath so I swallowed the acidic words instead to avoid any other repercussions of my thoughtless comment. Still this day when I walk on PWI and I want to a reprieve from the micro-aggressions, staring, and pointing those words, “I wish I was White” burn the lining of my stomach. I quickly return to the present and my concerns of inclusion are dismissed and I am labeled as a “trouble maker” or “someone who needs help.” These labels are similar to those that United States Attorney General, Eric Holder, recently described as retrograde causes resulting in suspension of Black and Brown preschoolers at higher rates than their white peers. When these children are suspended or expelled, denigrating acronyms and labels are pinned onto their nametags like dead bodies’ toes that affect their entire lives preceding them before their very presence in alternative entering schools. These children, as they fester into American second-class citizens are often misdiagnosed with These, as they grow older, and often informally diagnosed with a BD (Behavioral Disorder) or LD (Learning Disability), which triggers, which triggers an IEP (Individual Education Plan) which recommends to them be placed in a SE (Special Education) classroom or Juvenile Detention Center. They are already born ill with color destined for destruction from the cradle to the grave.
Thoughts are received by the the right and left communication towers in my head “If, an institution of education is conducted like a business then the dropout, suspended, and expelled end up looking like younger versions of the laid off and unemployed, imprisoned, and the deceased.”
Then, I reevaluate my NAV and I am reminded the significance of my employment by PWI, Inc. and to the preschool children of color who are labeled with BD and LD. Each acronym sounds like a contagious virus and my increased NAV on a PWI is a contribution research to finding a cure to the systemic strains that strengthen the STPP (School to Prison Pipeline) or men like WWB into the PIC (Prison Industrial Complex).
Oceans full of stars
Swim under the night’s jacket
Drops of blood flowers
Yesterday, I saw my Father walk away
around the corner, I was left screaming
His shadow tore through a crowd of blue eyes
reflecting strange fruit hanging from poplar trees
I was screaming his name when I stopped
to listen to a homeless man sing Jesus’ name
reflecting on strange fruit from poplar trees
His twisted mouth sang
I heard a homeless man sing Jesus’ name
“Black bodies swing in the southern breeze”
His twisted mouth sang
“Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.”
“Black bodies swing in the southern breeze”
His shadow tore through the crowd of blue eyes
“Then the sudden smell burning flesh”
I saw my Father walk away